Even the coolest guy in the room gets nervous in social situations sometimes.
It’s true. And it is a pretty big bummer that so many genuinely cool people like yourself beat themselves up for getting a bit flustered in social situations.
Human beings are social creatures, but we’re also pretty anxious ones too. What a lame combination.
Fortunately, there are a ton of awesome social life hacks out there that can help with keeping those butterflies in your stomach at bay. put together a list of super cool social hacks to help you gain control of a social situation and become more confident in social
We put together a list of our favorite super cool social hacks to help you gain control of a social situation and become more confident in social interactions.
Are you ready for these awesome hacks? Let’s get into it!
Five Social Hacks That Will Have You Running The Room
Some of these social hacks double as just general great life advice.
Pay Attention To Body Language And Respond To It
This advice may seem a little basic but bear with us. Body language is way more telling than we realize.
We all know that the key to a confident stance is a straight back, shoulders back, and a genuine smile.
But the way you walk into a room matters– always tell yourself when walking into a space that everyone there already likes you. Even if you have a hard time believing it (or know it to be false) this changes the way you carry yourself.
Body language can also be manipulated and/or responded to with strategic body language. Knowing how to do this isn’t as sociopathic as it sounds– you’re not ‘manipulating’ anybody. You’re responding to someone else’s body language with your own, and that communication changes what their body language says in response.
If anything, having a solid understanding of body language could help with vulnerability issues and build lasting friendships.
Here are just a few ways to use body language to your advantage:
- If you want to know more information from someone (or want them to open up) ask them a question, and when the finish answering, keep quiet while maintaining eye contact. This will cue the person to keep going.
- If you want to convince a friend of something, tell them about it while they are sitting and you are standing.
- Mirror the body language of others to help build trust.
- Feet never lie. Pay attention to the direction people’s feet are pointing during a conversation. If they point towards you, they’re interested– if not, they’re not digging it.
- It is very common for someone to blink a lot (eye fluttering) when they are attracted to someone they’re speaking with.
- You can discern a fake smile from a real one by the eyes. If someone is smiling and their eyes have wrinkles near the corners, it is genuine.
This is hard, we know.
But if you refer to someone you’ve just met by their first name, it quickly establishes a sense of trust and friendship almost immediately.
When people hear their name multiple times in a conversation, it says that you see them as an individual, a person of interest, and a potential friend.
People Remember The First And Last Things You Do
This is true!
Always try your best to be mindful of how you’re introduced to someone (keep that body language open and vulnerable!) and how you leave them at the end of an interaction.
This is called the serial positioning effect and it is one of the most researched concepts in psychology ever. The effect is pretty strong in most humans and is very reliable, so you can expect the effect to be happening in most of the people in your social setting, including yourself.
Outside of meeting people at parties and gatherings, consider the effect this could have in your professional life. During a job interview or during a business meeting, be mindful of what you say and the strength of your handshake and smile at the very end.
People remember the positive (or very negative) parts in between the beginning and end of an interaction, of course, but will typically forget the rest sans the beginning and end.
Change Your Language Up
There are few ways to up your verbal language game, and this includes deleting a few common greetings and small talk phrases:
- Change “What’s your job?” to “What have you been up to?” If someone’s job sucks (and let’s be honest, a lot of people have crappy jobs) they probably don’t want to talk about it, even to complain about it and vent. Asking what someone’s been up to paves the way for a positive rather than negative conversation.
- Confrontation doesn’t always have to be bad. If someone is doing a thing that’s bugging you, tell them politely and with a genuine smile. Human beings aren’t mind readers, and if someone’s doing something annoying they likely have no idea that it’s annoying you– telling them to stop in an almost humorous way takes the edge off of being told they’re doing something annoying and makes things less embarrassing for them.
- On that same vein, quit being passive-aggressive and using passive aggressive language. This is a hard one for a lot of people, but learning how to clearly and genuinely (and courageously) ask someone to please stop doing that thing that bothers you will release suppressed negative emotion and rarely will be met with world-shattering consequences.
Leave Your Phone Alone
Don’t leave your phone at home, but please leave it alone.
Make eye contact with other people speaking in a group conversation instead of just nodding and saying “uh-uh” as they speak. That’s rude, even if a lot of people do this.
Breaking the smartphone addiction puts you out of your comfort zone, but also makes people more interested in you.
Go Out And Be Social!
Hopefully, these handy social hacks will be able to help you get a confidence boost when entering into an unfamiliar social situation.
Do you have a social life hack that’s worked for you? Tell us about it in the comments, or contact us with your own hacks. Sharing is caring!